April Fools Part 2 - Ghost Troop

29 JUL 2003 Private Jessica Lynch, the Media and the Military (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "...I'm outraged that my colleagues so abused the public trust."

30 JUL 2003 Email to Rush Limbaugh "You're the best propagandist I've ever heard; and let me tell you, with a background in military intelligence, I've heard a lot of 'em."

04 AUG 2003 Letter to Dr. Pesikoff Quote: "In the event of my death, kindly release my entire file to anyone who is interested."

05 AUG 2003 Letter to Frank Michel, Houston Chronicle Quote: "Yep, you've accepted my premises and are running from my conclusions..."

05 AUG 2003 Letter to Margaret Downing, Editor, Houston Press "I thought you guys were real watch dogs because you always growled at the Chronicle as a big-paper lapdog."

05 AUG 2003 Letter to Fred King, Editor & Brother Officer Quote: "Everyone else I know is conveniently quoting Pilate's 'What is truth?'"

06 AUG 2003 Dialogue with the Press Communications with Noel Phillips, Peter Hart, David Corn, David Beasley & Julia Wallace.

07 AUG 2003 State of the Global War on Terror (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "I think the president has signaled where he will fight his Alamo against his multiplying critics."

07 AUG 2003 Email to Toby Hershaw, New York Times Quote: "I've already asked Thom Shanker to say hi, but I never know what he's doing."

08 AUG 2003 Letter to Frank Michel Quote: "You made excuses and left town when you had the first essay in America to say the prez was a liar, and left my work behind."

08 AUG 2003 Email to Wendy Schroell, KPFT, Pacifica Quote: "...the truth is that people who have gotten in the way of the military/media campaign are getting killed."

08 AUG 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "I've been searching for a good person, using the lantern of the truth in Iraq to scrutinize each one."

15 AUG 2003 John Young, Waco Tribune-Herald Quote: "Now I realize that all the stuff I have read, heard and seen about heroic journalists and heroic journalism is bullshit."

15 AUG 2003 Wake up Call to New York City (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "It can't be terrorism when it's your own government that's doing it..."

16 AUG 2003 Letter to Antiwar Allies in Houston (The birth of CyberCavalry 3/7)

16 AUG 2003 Letter to Rachel Corrie, Peace Activist and Hero (The first official scout of Ghost Troop CyberCavalry 3/7 - posthumously)

17 AUG 2003 Letter to Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, Democrat Quote: "I guess we just had to meet face to face. That's the only moment of truth, isn't it?"

18 AUG 2003 Armchair Analysis of the Bush League War Plan (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "The rest of the world, you may recall, sir, is anti-war agitated already."

18 AUG 2003 Email to Military Families Speak Out Quote: "...on my word as an American officer, I believe every word of it to be true."

18 AUG 2003 Iraqi Resistance Report IV (dated April 6, 2003) Quote: "... I was taught to examine all data before leading my soldiers ... anywhere important."

19 AUG 2003 Email to Fred King Quote: "I've lost too many jobs for doing the right thing, and you know it."

19 AUG 2003 Email to General Clark Quote: "I've made my will, I've arranged my funeral, and I'm not backing down."

19 AUG 2003 Email to Prometheus Press Captain May offers the opportunity to publish the April Fools essays and correspondence - in book form.

19 AUG 2003 Letter from Andrew Hamilton, Literary Agent

19 AUG 2003 Email to Dr. Buzzanco, History Department, University of Houston Quote: "I spent the first two weeks of the war on the front porch of the Honors College ... and I begged charity for the dead men. They couldn't have given a damn less!"

19 AUG 2003 Letter to Andre Rodriguez, Esquire Quote: "I am very proud of you!"

20 AUG 2003 Email to Toby Harshaw & Thom Shanker, New York Times Another classic, coward-busting, virtuoso performance. Do not miss this one!

20 AUG 2003 John Bluck, Deputy Editor, New Yorker Magazine "Why must I perpetually teach a course on the difference between men of words and men of action and words?"

20 AUG 2003 Amy Bonitatibus, Assistant Media Director, Hillary Clinton Quote: "In my book, anyone who doesn't help bring the truth to light is a coward."

20 AUG 2003 Email to David Langworthy, Houston Chronicle Quote: "Please call me back at your earliest convenience to tell me if you will pass or play."

20 AUG 2003 War in Iraq: Past, Present, and Future (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "Now we're finding out in Iraq that war is too important to leave the generals out."

21 AUG 2003 Email: Peace House & ABC Quote: "I have raised the black flag, and I accept no terms except unconditional surrender from them all."

21 AUG 2003 Email to John Young, Waco Tribune-Herald Quote: "I don't mince words, I don't back down, and I don't respect titles."

21 AUG 2003 Candy Morgan, WJCL, ABC Quote: "If you ever hold another job as a journalist it will be a mark of shame for your employer..."

21 AUG 2003 Email to CNN - the Crossfire Boys and Girl Quote: "Soon it will be every man for himself. That's too bad, but none of you had the guts to lay it on the line for justice."

25 AUG 2003 Email to Kim Morris Quote: "I want Gentle Reader to know how kind a lady you have been to me, and what a shallow cad I have always been in return."

25 AUG 2003 Email to Veronica Bussio & Jeff Cohen, Houston Chronicle Quote: "It's hard to stand up for the Constitution during a tyrannical attempt to subvert it."

25-26 AUG 2003 Emails with Private Kenneth and other Troopers Ghost Troop takes position, smack in the middle of the Infowar battlefield.

26 AUG 2003 Email to Dr. Tom DiGreggori, University of Houston Economics Department "[Soon] you'll know why my peers in public affairs contrived the Private Jessica ruse."

26 AUG 2003 Email to The Patriotic Union of Kurdistan Quote: "George W. Bush ... is operating in contravention of the Constitution of the United States of America."

26-27 AUG 2003 Fox News Mistreats Lieutenant Robison's Wife - Captain May Intervenes Quote: "I am utterly ashamed of you for subjecting that dear woman to your bullying."

27 AUG 2003 Email to Judy Minshew, Viewpoints Editor, Houston Chronicle "I think I'll save time and just read the last sentence of Mr. Freedman's columns ... from now on."

27 AUG 2003 Emails with Chase Untermeyer Quote: "If you ever want to know the best things about me, ask Chase Untermeyer. If you want the worst, ask my second wife."

28 AUG 2003 Email to Dr. Buzz, University of Houston History Department Quote: "Inaction means cowardice; initiative means courage. Is this all clear enough?"

28 AUG 2003 More Correspondence with Chase Untermeyer Quote: "As chaplain of the Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry, you have the most honorable position in Christianity."

28 AUG 2003 Ultimatum to Jeff n Judy, Houston Chronicle Quote: "Ain't it a bitch that there's no legal defense against a bald statement of the truth?"

28 AUG 2003 Email to CNN Crossfire Quote: "If I don't get assassinated soon I'm going to die of boredom watching your Bush League propaganda."

28 AUG 2003 Email to Courtney Wells, White House Producer, Fox News Quote: "...for the most part it was [and remains -- Editor] a weapon of mass deduction."

30 AUG 2003 Email to the Megamedia Quote: "I didn't wait for the prez to tell me it was OK to stand up for women's dignity..."

30 AUG 2003 Email to Loco de Wacko Quote: "We are waging a saturation infobombing campaign."

30 AUG 2003 Email to Dave Ayotte, Howard Dean Campaign Quote: "My campaign is entering the rout phase. If you are not going my way, you are in the way."

30 AUG 2003 Mobilization of the Gentle Reader Quote: "...our teenagers ... are about to discover that in the United States, SS means Selective Service."

30 AUG 2003 Email to Infoallies Including the Department of Defense Principles of Information. Quote: "...the military is ignoring its own policy on public affairs."

31 AUG 2003 Anathema Sit - Houston Chronicle Quote: "I want you to be the first ones to know that at the end of my book I will append a black list."