April Fools Part 3 - Ghost Troop

01 SEP 2003 Email to Senator Bob Graham (D) Quote: "If you like the substance and style of what you read, give me a call..."

01 SEP 2003 Email to Michael Moore Quote: "I watched and enjoyed Bowling for Columbine, and its style of ambush journalism has been an inspiration."

01-02 SEP 2003 Correspondence with el Loco de Wacko Quote: "We must reveal the guarded secret that Bush is no more a commander than The Great Oz was a wizard."

02 SEP 2003 Email to Marisa Treviño, Hispanic Link News Service Quote: "...it will be the colored folks and the crackers who will do the bleeding."

02 SEP 2003 Email to General Clark Quote: "My judgment of you thus far is that you are a bold fox, and that your ambitions and your nation's needs coincide."

02 SEP 2003 Email to Mary Benanti, Editor, El Paso Times Quote: "I'll show the prez how one little ol' Texas Cavalryman can change a whole nation."

02 SEP 2003 Email to Bob Moos, Editor, Dallas Morning News Quote: "I don't aspire to risk the Army to save Iraq, or screw Iraq (whichever view you take)."

02 SEP 2003 Email to Lakisha Ladson, Dallas Morning News Quote: "I live in Sheila Jackson Lee's congressional district, and I'm the only cracker for a square mile."

02 SEP 2003 Email to Dallas Morning News and Houston Chronicle Captain May addresses two separate newspapers in the same, treasonable context.

03 SEP 2003 More Correspondence with Marisa Treviño Quote: "If you ever want to talk about common issues, I'm more than willing. I like to work with bright people."

03 SEP 2003 Email to Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D) Quote: "I live in SJL's congressional district ... the public has not been informed of the true death toll of the war in Iraq."

03 SEP 2003 Email to Ghost Troop This one is great, not to be missed. Quote: "We're mad as hell, and we're not going to take this anymore!"

03 SEP 2003 Email from Rick, Georgia Journalist Quote: "It doesn't surprise me that at first many dismissed you as a raving lunatic; it is easier to excuse one's own ignorance by pretending to be saner than the one who reveals an uncomfortable truth or two."

03 SEP 2003 Email to Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D) Quote: "Quit being so chicken, or if you're not being chicken, explain to me just what you are doing!"

03 SEP 2003 Email to West Point Military Academy Quote: "Please help me to get the word to the nation that not all officers collaborated in the cover-up!"

04 SEP 2003 Letter to Gentle Reader Quote: "The desecration of the 3/7 Cavalry is a shame for which our generation can never atone."

04 SEP 2003 Correspondence with Lt. Untermeyer (USN), Chaplain, Ghost Troop Quote: "If I'm wrong I'm crazy, and someone should care enough to have Lieutenant Colonel Terry Ferrell, commander of the 3/7 Cavalry, call me and tell me to stand down."

04 SEP 2003 Email to Dr. Ted Estess and Dr. Bill Monroe, Honors College, University of Houston "OK, boys, judgment day is just about here, and the hardcover is pending."

04 SEP 2003 Email to Wolf Blitzer, CNN Quote: "...maybe I'm just giddy at the prospect of seeing you media boys before Congress pretty soon."

04 SEP 2003 Email to Alison Bettencourt, Major Martha Brooks, Army Public Affairs Quote: "...maybe the next crop of PA folks will learn not to conduct psyops against the public."

04 SEP 2003 LTC John Quote: "I await legitimate orders ... telling me that it is not my sworn duty to be in a state of revolt against tyranny."

04 SEP 2003 Email to Mary Bertani, Editor, El Paso Times Quote: "I feel like North vs. South when I talk to my own team, and it hurts worse than you can understand."

04 SEP 2003 Ghost Troop Report Quote: "There can be no wisdom where there is servitude, but when you're really a free thinker things become apparent."

05 SEP 2003 Iraq: From Bad to Worse (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "It's time to start thinking about history and for ourselves."

05 SEP 2003 Email to Bill Monroe & Ted Estess, Honors College The story of Captain May's compassionate pilgrimage via bicycle from Texas to Georgia. Another must-read.

05 SEP 2003 Email from Corporal Kay "'Be lifted up in spirit. You are doing the work of a spiritual warrior and sometimes it seems as if no one cares. But that is NOT so.'"

06 SEP 2003 Draft Notice for General Clark Captain May orders General Wesley Clark to assume command as President of the United States.

08 SEP 2003 Email to Ghost Troop, Texas Detatchment Quote: "I'm going to start preparing a list of people you should e-mail, write and call (all three are blessed)."

08 SEP 2003 Email to Barbara Phillips, Wall Street Journal Quote: "Frankly, I don't think the Pulitzer people will know which prizes to give the book."

08 SEP 2003 Email to Neal (National News Desk), Washington Post Quote: "Don't call me Deep Throat ... call me Captain May."

08 SEP 2003 Correspondence with the Green Party Quote: "Bush is an utter failure. We're in big trouble in Iraq. We are participating in an Orwellian situation."

08 SEP 2003 Email to Sean Hannity Quote: "As Cicero once said, when you have no case, abuse the plaintiff. Well, you followed the advice to the tee."

09 SEP 2003 Email to Chase Untermeyer, Chaplain, Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry Quote: "We're headed for a historic defeat. There, I've said it."

09 SEP 2003 Email to Weasels of General Clark's Campaign Quote: "I'm so pissed because you're making your man look bad."

09 SEP 2003 J P Masternati, Republican National Committee A heroic, selfless challenge to the front-organization granting false legitimacy to G W Bush.

09 SEP 2003 Correspondence with Ray Gingerich, Mennonite Quote: "I'm giving you a special award for the most creative cowardice of the book."

10 SEP 2003 Email (and Heads-up) to Media Allies Quote: "Just look at the headings and pick what looks interesting, that's what the readers will do."

10 SEP 2003 Email to Thom Shanker & Toby Hershaw, New York Times Quote: "You are not a journalist at all - you're a propagandist."

10 SEP 2003 Email, and Metamorphosis Revealed to the Wolf Quote [1]: "Do you think your life would be any better if you thought you were going to jail for violating the Constitution through the distribution of propaganda to the American People?" Quote [2]: "How much more entangled can you get than in quicksand, Wolf? How much, boy? There, good dog, you're right: You can't get more entangled, and anything you do means you sink deeper into ultimate entanglement. There's no bottom to find, and there's no swimming stroke to propel you up or out."

12 SEP 2003 Democratic Nominee Howard Dean (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "You can't be profound if you're not willing to risk being ridiculous. I'm ridiculously profound."

12 SEP 2003 Black List for Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "Call me a Constitutional fanatic and you'll start cluing in."

12 SEP 2003 Emails to the Aides of Senator Chambliss Quote: "I'll join Ghost Troop in Hell before I'll stop fighting the infowar that you guys started."

12 SEP 2003 Email to Dr. Pesikoff, Psychiatrist Quote: "I don't want anyone to think that there aren't Americans crazy enough to die for what they believe in."

12 SEP 2003 Email to "the Prez," G W Bush Quote: "The closest the American media can come to truth right now is Bin Laden's propaganda."

12 SEP 2003 Email to Congress Quote: "I am the leader of Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry, comprised of the many hundreds of souls restless beneath the illusions of the media."

15 SEP 2003 Email to Roy Douglas Malonson, Publisher Quote: "I'll make sure to put the African-American News & Issues on the honor roll at the end of my book."

19 SEP 2003 Email to Christiane Amanpour, CNN Quote: "You are the only one for whom I have any admiration, because you are the only one who has any guts."

22 SEP 2003 Emails to the Radical Press Including a concise explanation of what happened to the 3/7 Cavalry at Baghdad Airport on Friday, April 4, 2003.

22 SEP 2003 Email to Harry Belafonte, Institute for Policy Studies Quote: "They are afraid that what happened to Dr. David Kelly in England will happen to them, and a few of them are hoping it will happen to me."

22 SEP 2003 Email to Chaplain Untermeyer Quote: "Where is Joseph Heller when you need him to explain the military world to civilians?"

23 SEP 2003 Email to Ellin Marten, Time Magazine Quote: "You guys should have stuck to mediocre journalism, instead of selling yourselves out to become bunglers in PSYOPS."

23 SEP 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "I can't tell you how many times I've heard you guys say that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms! What do you have to say for objective journalism?"

23 SEP 2003 Email to Aaron Brown, CNN Quote: "Ain't it time for the whole country to cry a little?" [for the 3/7 Cavalry who perished in the Battle of Baghdad, April 2003]

24 SEP 2003 Houston Chronicle Quote: "We've got no more Army to send; the Army we've already sent is getting tired, broken down, and dispirited."

24 SEP 2003 Capt. James Yee: a New Capt. Alfred Dreyfus? (Essay by Captain May) Quote: "As long as we can discuss the prospect of oppressive government we need not fear it."

24 SEP 2003 Email to Marnie Glickman, Green Party Quote: "I've always liked you Greens for being irreverent, but I'm quite prepared to publicly chide you for being irrelevant."

25 SEP 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "Is this circumstantial evidence, or do I have to go dig up graves to give you acceptable facts?"

25 SEP 2003 A Pessimistic Analysis of the Tactical Situation in Iraq (Essay by Captain May) Logistics, Maintenance, Morale and the Threat Situation.

25 SEP 2003 Email to Rick Omlight Quote: "Become a participant in a bloodless, legal revolution, just like the one the founders mandated in the Declaration when oppressive government threatened the rights of man."

25 SEP 2003 Email to Dr. Pesikoff Quote: "This entire experience has been a big April Fools joke, since either I'm crazy or my country is."