April Fools Part 4 - Ghost Troop

01 OCT 2003 Media Release: Corrupt Cops Caught on 911 Tape! A powerful story about a brave young man who stands-up for himself when confronted by corrupt police officers.

17 OCT 2003 Letter to Mr. Coleman Quote: "Bush has badly miscalculated his expansion of the white man's world, and there's hell to pay for it."

22 OCT 2003 Email to American Islamic Organizations Quote: "...the American Public has been lied-to about the reality of the Battle of Baghdad..."

24 OCT 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times A lively parcel addressed to the ubiquitous Pentagon correspondent.

28 OCT 2003 Email to Wolf Blitzer, CNN Quote: "Captain May sez if it goes regional it goes nuclear, and if it goes nuclear it goes global."

29 OCT - 01 NOV 2003 Emails to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "The good guys are going to win, and that's been all I've wanted from the start."

02 NOV 2003 Email to Dr. Pesikoff, Psychiatrist Quote: "I imagine I'm losing it again and need you to tinker with my thinker."

04 NOV 2003 Email to Andre Rodriguez Quote: "...just because you've become a tough guy doesn't mean you have to act like a tough guy."

05 NOV 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "It's time to quit beating around the Bush and start beating the Bush itself - for the truth."

09/10 NOV 2003 Correspondence with Chase Untermeyer This package of correspondence is particularly recommended. "If you're ready to kick ass, you usually won't have to."

11 NOV 2003 Letter to Professor G Quote: "The creative fire you have sparked in me, in my university studies years ago and in our conversations this year, has made you my Prometheus. It has been your fate, poor man, to become a Titan."

13 NOV 2003 Email to Mike the Moslem Quote: "I'm watching TV as much nowadays as mama did back during Watergate."

14 NOV 2003 Email to Chase Untermeyer Quote: "I laugh at my own errors and keep on trying, which I suspect to be the secret of success in most pursuits."

18 NOV 2003 Email to Chase Untermeyer Quote: "Getting us into more war would just be a replay of the techniques he [GW Bush] used to get us into war in the first place!"

19 NOV 2003 Email to Wolf Blitzer, CNN Quote: "Wolf! Come here! Sit! Good boy! Good boy!"

20 NOV 2003 Email to Mike the Moslem Quote: "Yep, looks like this has been a big April Fools joke on everyone, doesn't it? Anyone laughing? Me neither."

21/22 NOV 2003 Emails to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "You folks are Sybarites ... turning on the heat or the cold of your souls to suit your bosses."

25 NOV 2003 Email to the BBC Quote: "Boy George merely affects rugged Texas individualism and cowboy manners to impress his Yankee friends."

28 NOV 2003 Valedictory Letter to Mr. Joseph Coleman Upon learning of the death of Captain May's neighbor. Quote: "I'm proud to have had a friend like you."

03 DEC 2003 Email to Hani Shukrallah & Mona Anis, Al-Ahram Weekly Quote "I hope a bit of reading will convince you that some of us over here are thinking clearly."

04 DEC 2003 Bob Arnot, MSNBC Quote: "Yep, there's the operational picture that y'all aren't showing because you're too busy showing a Sunni on a shopping spree."

05 DEC 2003 Thom Shanker Quote: "I'd like to be the best-educated atheist in America, and I'm getting nowhere until I can talk it over with Yahweh in his own language."

07 DEC 2003 Pearl Harbor Day: Email to Chase Untermeyer Quote: "Hubris and chutzpah, I think those two words say it all."

08 DEC 2003 Email to the Media Education Foundation Quote: "I am proud to be using my expertise as an intelligence and media expert - taught to me by the Army - just the wway the Army taught me to do it: in defense of the Constitution!"

08 DEC 2003 Susan Llanes-Myers, Holocaust Museum Quote: "Visiting you folks ... is a big part of why I'm importunate and rebellious."

10 DEC 2003 WEBMASTER X THE DEFINITIVE SUMMARY OF APRIL FOOLS.
"Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry is my name for a unit comprised of all the unacknowledged dead soldiers from the Battle of Baghdad, who are receiving no just reckoning or recognition because the media lied � and they continue to lie � about the Battle of Baghdad."

15 DEC 2003 Email to George W. Bush Quote: "The leader who unifies the Iraqi resistance groups isn't Saddam, George, it's you."

16 DEC 2003 Email to CENTCOM Public Affairs Quote: "You are a disgrace to the uniform of your country, because you are working against your country's Constitutional right to know the truth!"

16 DEC 2003 Email to George W. Bush Quote: "...you sure could have used someone around who understood geopolitics."

27 DEC 2003 Email to Thom Shanker, New York Times Quote: "Tovarisch pisatel, ni mojhet bit, shto vi takoy durak!"

29 DEC 2003 Email to Houston Chronicle Editorial Board Quote: "You didn't hide merely because you are hopeless cowards, but because you are heartless careerists."

30 DEC 2003 Email to Representative Ron Paul Quote: "We act within the Constitution to restore the Constitution! If you agree with this plan and goal, then you're an ally."

31 DEC 2003 Happy Birthday to Barbara Phillips, Wall Street Journal Quote: "I'm starting to think that maybe I wasn't so paranoid, after all."

31 DEC 2003 Midnight - Email to Gentle Readers Captain May declares his new-years resolution: to limit his correspondence to true-friends (plus those with whom he has business to attend-to), thus concluding The April Fools Collection.