Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 1

July 27, email to Outlook & Viewpoints, Houston Chronicle

Thanks for publishing my essay, “Visions of Stalingrad: Claim victory in Iraq now” (April 3, Outlook), in which I wrote that Iraq would turn into quicksand. And thanks for publishing my most recent essay, “Still worried about quicksand of war with Iraq” (July 8, Outlook), in which I wrote that we were sinking deeper into the quicksand and were trying to thrash our way out. I guess you have to admit that military intelligence isn’t always a contradiction in terms.

But most of all, thanks for promising to publish my “3/7 Cavalry, tragedy and travesty,” in which I wrote that the Bush administration covered up the entire Battle of Baghdad with the Pvt. Jessica farce. Well, it turns out that I’m right, like I’ve been telling you all along. Here’s the summary of the bad news that the country is going to get as soon as you media folks and your friends in D.C. get around to telling them:

“On Saturday morning, April 5, the 3/7 Cavalry, part of the 3^rd Infantry Division, was occupying the Baghdad Airport, which had been contested for days. Saddam had promised us an “unconventional attack” by morning. It came. Just before dawn the Iraqis attacked the 3/7 Cavalry in force, and drove them into Baghdad where they were reinforced by the 3rd Infantry Division. The next day the 3rd Infantry Division began to take Baghdad. The Iraqis melted away. Now we have discovered too late that we are in quicksand. Media silence about the disaster has turned into collaboration with the cover up. The Bush Team clamped down on the reporters and they fed us a story about Private Jessica instead of the truth about Baghdad and its airport. Careers will end, and institutions will fall, because they suppressed the truth that it was their duty to tell the nation.”

Right now 3rd Infantry Division is being held in the worst spot on earth so that the Bush Team can keep the cover-up going until it sinks us deeper into the war. I believe the Bush Team calls this “getting America committed.” I feel sorry for the boys and girls out there on the front lines – don’t you? How do you feel about the kids who have registered with the Selective Service? Aren’t they the next ones in our heroic “Global War on Terror,” which, as I have been writing, may well spin into the Third World War?

Don’t worry that I’ll let the Houston Chronicle be crowded out for to glory of being my journalistic inspiration as I pursued the story, though. Here’s what I’ve done to spread your fame: I passed out a couple hundred copies of the essay (along with the letter of credit to you) on a long ride from Texas to Georgia, where a Colonel Dennington, heading up a post chapel, confirmed my conclusions about the battle. I sent a copy in every follow-up email and letter. I mentioned it (and you) in a thousand conversations. I’ve discussed it in dozens of calls to your editorial, news and executive offices. I’ve kept receipts of delivery to Jeff, Frank, David and the news department. I’ve kept my phone records. Best of all, I’ve made copies (and copies of copies) of everything.

The long and the short of it is that you guys get the easy credit while I’ve done the hard work. It’s all in my upcoming book, of which a hundred drafts are now circulating by hand and another hundred have been delivered by mail across America. The book title is “April Fools, Captain May.” Gentlemen (and institution), prepare to be famous.

PS: Do you recall Dr. David Kelly, the recent informational embarrassment of the Blair Team? Please recall that he died mysteriously on Friday, July 18. As of today, July 27, I have not died mysteriously, but I am concerned that, as the pending informational embarrassment of the Bush Team, I could be in danger. What do you think? How about telling the truth to the public so that honest men like me don’t have to worry about tyrants named George? Isn’t that a Revolutionary idea? If I become the first American David Kelly, I won’t be the last. Now is the time for the Houston Chronicle to stand with me – for the Unknown Dead, for First Amendment and for the United States of America!

Captain May

Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 1