Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3
·
John Hlinko: John@DraftWesleyClark.com or
202-741-3798
·
Josh Margulies: Josh@DraftWesleyClark.com
or 917-509-6240
·
Maya
Hey, y’all? Haven’t you ever heard the saying “No Guts,
No Glory?” I’m sure the general has, and
he won’t be happy that you’re dragging ass on getting back with me. I have absolutely no doubt about where he
stands in the information cycle. I’m
sure he’ll say he doesn’t have a clue, and I even believed Bush, so call me
credulous.
It must be that you are
grad-student amateurs, like the media says, and your guy ain’t
for real, like the media says. Shit,
I’ve been telling everyone in
I’m the General’s Jeb Stuart, but you’ve left me stranded through sheer
incompetence. You were supposed to be
flattered by the reference to the “Yellowhorse” in the email from last night/this morning/to-day.
It’s all a campaign, folks, and I’m so far ahead of you that you are
about to become Overcome By Events (OBE) in the near
future. It ain’t
my fault. I’ve told you I’m not OPCON,
and I’m damn sure glad, seeing as how you don’t know shit about tactics. You have missed a golden opportunity, or are
about to. I’ve told you that I’m only worried about the Constitution, and
you’re acting like you’re worried about everything except the Constitution.
General Clark is lucky that
I keep remembering that it’s you guys who are making the timid mistakes instead
of contacting me with a will. Yesterday,
the minute I got to the Battle of Baghdad Kim Kogel
(kogel@hotmail.com) got an urgent, immediate call. I think that must have been one of you
chickens pulling her off the real info.
Y’all are doing to your own staff what George XLIII did to the American
People. Don’t do it any more. That’s a straight-up warning from Captain
May, and a lot of folks in this book would have been far, far better served if
they’d taken me, and not some weasely politician, at
his word.
That reminds me, I
didn’t mean to call you chickens. I
meant to call you weasels, like George “Custer” Bush is a weasel. [Editor’s
emphasis, in all cases] I must admit I got the idea from watching General
Clark’s pop-up at key phases of the operation to capture the presidency. I called the game “Pop Goes the Weasel”
because he was like the groundhog that predicts the weather. Remember the Dylan lyric: “You don’t have to be a weatherman to know
which way the wind is blowing.” Good
line, don’t you think?
You see, the art of
poetry (of which propaganda is a prostitute relative) involves the linkage of
radical notions. That’s why I spent a
decade refining my Latin and Greek, a decade refining my Russian and Spanish,
and a decade refining my martial art.
Everything takes the foundation of humility, the enslavement of self to
the transcendent. Become a slave and you
can do what the Master Yu can do:
deflect a thousand pounds of power with a movement so utterly clear, so
focused, that there is no moment between the parry of the blow and the
infliction of the coup de grace. It must be so, or it must not be at all. Hasn’t anyone out there read their Sun
Tzu? Can you get the General to lend you
his Ranger handbook? There a picture of
a guy named Iron Mike in it, and Iron Mike was a company grade officer, and Iron Mike believed that the only place from
which you could lead is the front. Captain May sez learn from the iron man
of the infantry. (Compliments from the light cavalry.)
That’s why I know you
aren’t in touch with your guy, because he’s got a Combat Infantry Badge on his
chest, and he wouldn’t let you coast on these revelations. He knows every word of this is true, but you
guys aren’t getting through to him because you’re weasels. Do you know how close you have had me to
writing Weasel
Go talk to the General,
and give him Captain May’s compliments, too.
I have thoroughly enjoyed his moves on the chessboard since he resigned
from CNN to prove his objectivity. I wasn’t
being very objective myself, of course.
Nope, I’m not as good a soldier as the great man, so I wept like the
piece of shit company grade officer I am.
He kept his cool, though, and I understand that you have to be able to
keep your cool to play partisan political games, or serve your country as a
great man.
I think the people are ready to see any current politician, including
the covert politician, the General, as either sublime or ridiculous
(compliments to Napoleon), depending on which step he takes soon. My best friend Chase Untermeyer
(my best recommendation for a thinking man’s SecDef)
thinks a lot of the General personally, but doesn’t have a clue about the
General’s political blitz (coming shortly) as a Republican challenger to a now
crestfallen commander in chief. Shine up
the General’s stars and boots, ‘cause I rate you
weasels no higher than civilian valets.
I’m so pissed because
you’re making your man look bad, because people are going to suppose that as I keep
writing you (and everyone else between
Tell General Clark that
Captain May sez he’s doing a brilliant high-end PSYOP
out there in echelons above God, but that his foot soldiers are failing him in
the trenches. Goddamn it, off your lazy
asses. Garry Owen! Charge!
Captain May
PS: Lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way –
and read the next
e-mail; it’s to George XLIII.
Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3