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Fools Part 2
Hello, Dave
Read what I’ve written to help General Clark. I published it in the Houston Chronicle. It will interest you, Dave.
“Worried about quicksand of war in Iraq,” Houston Chronicle Outlook, July 8, 2003
(Back to Dave)
Did you like the essay, Dave? I like writing, but I don’t write for money. I don’t need money. I need to oppose King George XLIII, that’s my job as a military officer who took his oath to his country seriously. If Mr. Dean opposes him as well as I do, I’ll write for Mr. Dean.
I’ll attach another piece from the Houston
Chronicle. It predicted most of what has
happened since we went to war. I wrote
it before we got to
“Visions of Stalingrad: Claim victory in Iraq now,” Houston Chronicle Outlook, April 3, 2003
(Back to Dave)
I think I should give you my number now, Dave. Here it is: [omitted by Editor]. Now that you understand a little bit of who I am, and of what kind of things I know, I will let you know more than people who think they know things. I will start with the simple truth, then move to the complex. This is important, Dave.
“Private Jessica Lynch, the media and the military,” Written July 29. Unpublished.
“3/7 Cavalry, tragedy and travesty,” Written April 13. Unpublished.
(Back to Dave)
Dave, like General Clark, I know how to wait for the right moment to execute an ambush. My allegations are about to be published, and there will be a political freefall, otherwise I wouldn’t bother you yet. Your receipt of this means that Mr. Dean has received it, and that’s what my antiwar needs now. This letter is in my book. My underground associates will distribute it across the infoweb in real-time so that it will reach our media and extra-media allies. I have a Congressional Investigation bearing down to crush the tyrant Bush. My campaign is entering the rout phase. If you are not going my way, you are in the way.
I have two more items for you, Dave.
First, I have already sent this email to every other campaign but yours, weaving it through the web in a hundred different ways with a hundred different hands. Handle it well, Dave.
Second: A riddle: How can General Clark be President Clark if he doesn’t beat Governor Dean in the Democratic Primary? Do you know the answer, Dave? It’s in the letter below.
August 28, 2215, email, Mr. Chase Untermeyer, former Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Reagan/Bush (my best man)
Thank you for looking at my email. I have enjoyed writing it, and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. I feel a bit more objective when I write to you, Dave. It makes me feel like Hal, Dave.