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September 6, draft notice for General Clark

I'm taking care of my side of things.  You wouldn't believe the operations I've been conducting from Texas to topple the wall of silence about the Battle of Baghdad and the tyrannical suppression of the Constitution by the Bushlings.  I have attached the General's draft notification, written by me.  I have no doubt about the verity of every word the general has said about not knowing what to do about his candidacy, so I'll make his mind up for him.

These are military orders from my command – as far as I know, the only independent one in the US Army.  I am ordering him to return to the service of his nation, because he's the only man I can see who is right for the job.  In lesser times I wouldn't waste my time bothering about so trifling a thing as politics, but I'm making an exception because of the current national crisis.  Out of the command bunker, general! It's time to lead from the front like Frederick the Great, Alexander the Great and the great Julius Caesar.  Ain't it time to be great yourself?  I think History has already picked you, so I'm seconding the motion (supposing that History gives a shit about Roberts Rules of Order).  I have been your cavalry, general, and it has been my pleasure to harass the enemy of freedom for five solid months now.  Your orders are attached to my email, and will be included in my book, which I will hold back until you have complied with destiny or become irrelevant.  Draft notice attached.  E. May

Headquarters, Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry:

Congratulations, General Wesley Clark.  You are hereby drafted for the presidency of the United States of America, to which you will report after a landslide victory as a Republican, with record-setting crossover votes.  You are to proceed with all due regard for the significance of your historic mission:  to return stability to a world that is teetering on the brink of destruction.  You are to bring the United States into line with the United Nations on every possible area of foreign affairs.

Special instructions:  You are to make no provision of pardon for George W. Bush or his conspirators against the First Amendment of the United States Constitution.  Under your leadership, Congress and the Federal Courts are to prosecute treason to the full.

Eric Holmes May, CPT, MI, USA

Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry, Commanding

 

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