Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3
Take a serious look at
this. I'm about to publish a book about
things that the corporate media still isn't ready to publish. My name is Captain Eric May, and I am a
former Army intelligence and public affairs officer. What I have seen, investigated, and reported
to Congress (Senator Hillary Clinton, Rep. Jan Schakowski,
Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee, inter alias) is absolutely true, on my honor as an
officer who took his oath to the Constitution seriously, even if that meant
fighting the commander in chief.
Regards,
Captain May
PS:
the April 3
op-ed below was
published; the April
13 op-ed was
not. You'll be able to tell why in a
hurry: If I'm right, Bush is
impeached. Happy
hunting.
Greetings,
Captain.
Would you object to my passing your important info around to
some members of the Green Party - especially the part about the 3/7 Cavalry and
the airport? I suspected there was some cover-up happening
at the time and just could not put my finger on the situation. If you had some members of that group to
quote from it would be incredible evidence.
I will attach the report. Its central thesis is simple: Private
Jessica was a public affairs/media ruse to take your eyes
from the hundreds of American dead we lost taking
On April 5/6/7 you were watching Private Jessica, if
you were watching at all, while the U.S. Army was waging a battle for a city
the size of
How do I know so much? Folks, I'm from the dark side, according to
your way of seeing it. I prefer to see
myself as Yang to your Yin, but that may be too metaphysical. I was military intelligence (Russian
emphasis) for the US Army, then I was Public Affairs for the US Army, then I
was a high-end ghost writer for the US Media.
I know what I'm talking about.
Soon you will too. Your national
media contact,
Captain May
Hey y'all. I've been having a hand-rolled, playing guitar and watching CNN. I like to fart around a little while I pick apart their propaganda (and Fox’s and MSNBC’s ad nauseum). Well, today it was Crossfire time at 1500, and Carol Mosley Braun was on. Man, I've never seen so many softball questions lobbed to a person in my life! You know, I think the media is turning against tyranny, just as I predicted it would in the essay “3/7 Cavalry, tragedy and travesty,” the publication of which will signal our victory in the illegal Infowar that George XLIII has been waging. Here’s the referenced graph. It was the nail in the coffin of tyranny, and I’m proud, utterly proud, to have written it when I was still crying every night for the Battle of Baghdad:
“Congress should demand
explanations from President George W. Bush, and prepare articles of impeachment
if he can’t or won’t explain himself. As
for the media, perhaps it will realize that although it was willingly embedded
by the government, it is not married to it.
A trial of impeachment of the president would be as good a story as the
war was, and might even tempt the media to rouse itself from its bed and
reconsider its spring fling in
E. May, April 13, 2003
Yep, that graph will break the brick that needs breaking: tyranny. It was fate that the blow be struck by the hand of a black belt cavalryman. Sit tight, children, the important people you are always so awed by, and whom you each, in your secret hearts, long to be – those people, I tell you, will act their part as it has been written in that paragraph. My hand was the hand of the desecrated dead, and they will have their revenge on the living who lie.
Anyhow, back to CMB: They really took it easy on her, no interruptions from either left or right. You know what, I’m kind of a racist. I think white folks (my tribe, alas) are so dumb that it takes a smart black person to talk some sense to ‘em, and I’m mighty happy that the ambassador was there to do it.
Bush is a racist, too, but he and his white friends use smart black folks more traditionally: He makes ‘em tell lies to dumb white people, just like the servants of the old South white houses had to do. Like who? Like General Powell, Ms. Rice and that one-star pop-up-target black general he stuck out there like a parrot for the CentCom media conferences while we still thought we were winning the war.
How can I say such things? See, I’m married to a black woman, and I like my black friends as tough as Constable Patrick and Officer West and Mr. Colemanoleman and Mrs. Reagan and Mrs. Stull – real black folks, who live or work around my house in the hood of H-town. I’m the only white man for a mile in any direction, and I like it just fine that way. I find that it insulates me from bourgeois decadence (that means you white folks, no offense).
The black folks who work for the White House are chosen because they are slick. Hell, I hate to say it, I really do, because I always expect a bit more character out of blacks than whites. Old Mr. Colemanoleman and I have spent many a long hour sitting in the shade talking about whether Harry Belafonte was right about Colin Powell and the whole crew being a pack of Uncle Toms and Tomasina’s. I held out for the general against all evidence, and Mr. Colemanoleman had a yin for Condor Lisa, but the subject got stale from our trying to find excuses for ‘em and I finally just declared the whole bunch a minstrel show. He didn’t argue me back into line, so I knew it was gospel. You can trust Mr. Colemanoleman’s judgement. Damn, I sure wish he was running the country.
Well, Ms. Braun isn’t going to take part in the white
man’s parade any more, she made that crystal clear. She smacked the prez
like an ugly stepchild on national TV, and both the boy wonder co-hosts (I
never can remember their names) let her do her thing. She
spoke the truth! Take a breath and
let it sink in, folks. A person
addressing the nation on a major broadcast network was daring to utter the truth.
All this, of course, means that the original deal of the U.S.
Constitution is coming back to
Here’s what the
previously-corrupt but soon-to-be-noble media had to let that brave black woman
say: Bush is an utter failure. We're in big trouble in
“I fear my president
ordered assassination in the “bad luck” incident of Army tanks shelling the
E. May, April 13, 2003
Hmm… You think David
Kelly read my piece?
How about the Arab media? How
about Rachel
Corrie, the Midwest kid in
Someone ought to be creative enough to steal my name for Bush’s Folly: the Quicksand War. I’ll tell you where I stole the idea: Lawrence of Arabia, the quicksand scene. The desert, the tragedy, the death. I guess my muse was pretty turned-on that day, because my name for the war is the name. Y’all go ahead and use it. One of the Democratic boys used it in a campaign speech a few weeks ago and it didn’t sizzle, but it will, it will. We ain’t getting in any less deep in the quicksand, are we children?
Incidentally, should anyone be in the mood to consider the Army besides me, I’m getting open-source intel to the effect that certain units are having mobility problems because of poor logistics. Jumping Jesus Christ, there hasn’t been a worse job of commanding an army since Tsar Nicholas II! (Look up the history and begin to use, please.)
Wanna know what the
politicians and media will be saying five months from now? Wanna know what
Bush will be saying five months from now?
How about
Captain May
PS: Write me what the hell you, the Green Party, would do if you were in control of the presidency now, (in light of my allegations). I’ll include your manifesto into my manuscript. When’s the last time serious folks took you seriously? Call me a fool, but I do. I’ve summoned you. Now show some American spirit, for the moment is at hand, and the prize goes to the boldest. Climb out of your foxholes of safety and your caves of ignorance and follow me! Goddamn it, it smells … like … fucking … VICTORY!!!
…By the way, the Bobby Duval colonel in Apocalypse Now was from the flying First
Cavalry Division (in
Yellowhorse, Yellowhorse, this is Captain May. Over…
Yellowhorse, looking for misinformation and propaganda targets. Over…
Yellowhorse, I have truth, do you have targets? Over…
Yellowhorse, Garry Owen! Out!
…Naw, nothing but static on the other side. I hate that shit. I’ve been in the bunker for a while folks, and I’m ready for some offense for a change. I’m spinning my long staff over my head like a propeller, and Hendrix is playing Machine Gunner. C’mon guys, don’t any of y’all want to see what real moral commitment is? Try me…
Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3