Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 4
Yo
prez (and veep), I’m a bit
worried that my messages haven’t been getting through to you, so I thought I’d
pass along my
letter of congratulations (for getting Saddam) and a few
documents of condemnation at the same time.
Say hi to Cynthia Tucker and Thom Shanker for
me – they’re supposed to be real tigers (I’m waiting to see), and they and the
rest of
Attached (as “Merry Christmas, prez!”) are my Philippic (ask Miss Rice) against you, my published op-eds against you (before you beat up the Houston Chronicle) and my email to CENTCOM Public Affairs (just sent) about the cover-up of the Battle of Baghdad. I’ll throw in the July 15 letter to Thom Shanker of the New York Times (with his reply). As for the letter of congratulations, well, I’ve saved it for last, because I want to leave you smiling.
But first a few questions that have been nagging me...
Did you go off the deep end a little back in July, right about the time of Dr. Kelly’s death? (Cynthia Tucker and Mike Luckovich said you did…)
When you went off the deep end in July, were you setting Valerie Plame up for assassination to scare off war critics, or did you mean it when you said in front of the 3rd ID at Ft. Stewart (in September) that you weren’t going to assassinate citizens for using free speech? [Editor’s emphasis, in all cases] I’m confused…
Do you mind it when I
widely and frequently lampoon you as a “dynastic dwarf, George
XLIII, Boy George, puer aeternus (ask Miss Rice) or shorty? (If so, please reply as to which term offends
the most.) [lmao --Ed] I know that your favorite George (the Third) didn’t put up with that kind
of crap, but my favorite George (
Have you ever heard utterances like “avoid foreign entanglements” or “beware of the military-industrial complex,”and (if so) do you question the loyalty of the men who made them?
Do you think that it is your destiny to be the Millennial (ask Miss Rice) leader who initiates Armageddon for the glory of God via an Israel-centered world war? (Just asking for my Brother Baptists – and do you hear voices inside your head?)
Final question: Does it hurt your feelings that I’m so critical of you?
I wish it didn’t have to be that way, prez. In the spirit of the Holidays, let me explain. You see, I’ve gotten used to leading young adults as an Army officer, and to teaching teenagers as an educator – and I’m afraid I may be holding you to too high a standard. Lord knows, I try to be indulgent with you, and I didn’t mind it a bit when you played golf on 911 weekend, because I felt fairly safe when you were doing nothing. Now things have changed a lot though, because you’re doing something – the wrong thing. You’re leading us straight into quicksand at home and abroad.
Lately I’ve been feeling
really sorry (for the first time) that I blew you guys off when y’all wanted me
to write speeches for you back in the
Anyway, here’s the congratulatory letter I promised you.
Captain May
Ghost Troop Home
Page April
Fools Part 4