Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 1

April 18, report, hand delivered, to the Honors College

FINAL REPORT

For two weeks, I have sat and taken collections in front of the University of Houston Honors College, my alma mater, for the relief of the widows and orphans of the American dead who gave their lives in a war overwhelmingly supported by public opinion.

The total Honors College contribution has been almost twenty dollars, or a bit less than fifty cents per hour for the forty hours of collection. Faculty and staff made no contributions, but did seek to have the dean remove me as an eyesore and impediment to the apparent missions of the college: recruiting docile students, providing interesting positions for aspiring faculty and their embedded staff, and cultivating academic politics – all for the betterment of the human situation, of course.

On behalf of the fallen, their widows and orphans, and the armed forces sworn to defend you, I extend my gratitude to you all for being my teachers. You have opened my eyes in a way that my twenty years of military service never did. I was quite surprised by the level of your patriotism and humanity. From the dean to the demos, you have been uniform in your character. I expect that you will continue to so distinguish yourselves in the deep Humanism upon which you pride yourselves.

Today, Good Friday, is a good day to end my vigil of mourning. May the slain of the 3/7 Cavalry, and all the others who fought in Iraq, rise up Sunday with the Lord. I pledge that I will deliver your generous offering to the Army Emergency Relief fund of the unit.

Garry Owen, boys and girls. I bid you an affectionate farewell. Captain May

Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 1