Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2
Johnny, tell me the truth, did I blow your mind Tuesday afternoon when I walked into your editor’s office in dress blues, medals clanging, air assault wings and general staff brass glimmering off my chest, to tell you that the prez was a traitor and that I had brought you the document to prove it? Shit, man, I thought you’d be happy! I continue to make that mistake. Now I realize that all the stuff I have read, heard and seen about heroic journalists and heroic journalism is bullshit. You guys say Woodward and Bernstein like you were saying Peter and Paul or something. They just did their job, which is to follow the story whithersoever it goes, and hats off to them for doing their job. Do you think that journalists doing journalism is somehow courageous? Well I ain’t religious, but it seems to me that nowadays it could be called miraculous!
Goddamn it, I’m sick and tired of you media rats lacking the basic sense of mission instilled in every man or woman who has completed basic training! You are utter cowards. You are whisperers and backbiters, traders of information, peddlers. You are everything Jesus chased out of the temple with a whip, and you are a desecration to the God of Truth.
I called you back at high noon, three days after I put the story into your hands, to see where you stand, and here’s what you had to say: “Captain May, sir, I know you’re doing an important thing for the country and all, and what you’re saying is the truth, but I have an editorial page to put out.” Ha! Ha! Ha!
You whined that you’re not the man to take on the job, even though you admit the evidence is damning.
You even tried to deny ever opening the book that you were reading while I was blowing your mind with it Tuesday. Shit man, before you knew what you were getting into, you wanted to shake my hand make sure I was in earnest with my $1000 bounty to disprove my analyses. I guess you’re not going to disprove me, are you?
Just to put the scare into you worse, watch how I see
the world: Yesterday the prez flew outta
the Crawford Concentration Camp for the West Coast. Right about now the 3rd Infantry Division is
coming in on the East Coast. At just
this point in time, there is a very distracting power in the media capital of
Yep, the message is right on time: It’s now 1300, and the networks are reporting that the prez is calling this a “wakeup call.” Are you media watchdogs awake yet, Johnny?
He’s put the departments of defense and homeland security on the job. Looks to me like a lot of American folks are getting a real strong message that we’d better get hold of lots of energy resources. Hmm… Oh, and by the way, it’s a great day for the energy companies, ain’t it? Texans like you must be proud.
There, I promised you a letter, and you got it. Shame on you and all your
tribe. You and a hundred men as
small as you will just have to hold out for the best case scenario: that King George can suppress the plain truth
that the Constitution promises all citizens of the
The Houston Chronicle is no better than your
rag. It’s too busy sniffing Bush’s butt
to even sit in his lap anymore. Today
the paper that won’t print the truth about
The Bush Team is playing hardball with everyone’s mind and you can’t handle it! Well, it’s all just desperation bullshit, so clean up the mess in your drawers and get back to putting out your editorial page – or is that mess in your drawers what you put in your editorial page?
Captain May