Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2
David, thank you for returning my call. I believe that now is a time for the public to read a truly objective man. If ever man had claim to that title, it’s me, your April Fool. I am poor as Diogenes, hated as Judas and hiding out like an outlaw – and all for doing my duty as an officer and a feeling human being. I guess that’s the price you have to pay to call ‘em like you see ‘em. Everyone else is protecting a career or a reputation. I lost my career and reputation years ago, so I didn’t have as much to lose as men and women with equal talent and intelligence. That, and a willingness to prevail or die, has been my sole edge, but it is the kind of edge that wins wars, and can serve the cause of my county.
I hope this op-ed will please the Chronicle. There’s not much in the first three-quarters that you haven’t heard lately. Last night talking heads from Ted Koppel to the news network wannabes were hedging their way out of the war. Well, I don’t hedge about much, as you know as well as anyone. I’ve begun the piece in the safest way: by stringing together the relevant observations that I’ve made in Outlook over the years.
Should you want to run it without the last three graphs, feel free, and of course, tweak away – I can’t count the times you have fixed a knick, scratch or dint in my often faulty syntax or diction. But think hard about the last three graphs. Since the country ramped up for war and I ramped up to oppose it, I’ve told you I would always give you my best insight, and my best insight (my prognosis) is in the last three graphs.
I know that you are an intelligent man, David. You agreed with me back in March that we were close to a world war. I’m sure that you know we’re closer now than then. With that in mind, I ask that you give every consideration to the patriotic essay of this antiwar warrior.
Captain May
PS: The last two op-eds I have submitted have gathered dust for two weeks apiece before the Chronicle made a decision. I must say that in the many years we have worked together, this has been unprecedented. Please call me back at your earliest convenience to tell me if you will pass or play.