Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3

September 25, email to Rick Omlight, Atlanta Journal Constitution, Wall Street Journal, Macon Telegraph

Hey Rick, Captain May, still in the underground fighting for the Constitution with my best weapons: words. Remember the old rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Well, you probably also remember that the pen is mightier than the sword. I think playground taunts are ignorable, but my study of history has taught me that tyrants do not like criticism. [Editor’s emphasis, in all cases] It’s more dangerous to speak openly today than it has been since McCarthy (whom Nazi Anne Coulter is trying to defend in a best-seller today). It may be as dangerous to speak openly as it was in the Civil War, when Lincoln suspended habeas corpus to lock his critics down – all for the good of the Union, I suppose. The reason I mention the Lincoln measures is that I’ve seen right-wingers on the news networks starting to imply that such extremities may be in order now, with the global war on terror and all.

Let’s just say I’m blanched from not getting any sun while living in my bunker these last couple of months, but that I’ve worked out some pretty cool close-quarters combat ideas, armed and unarmed, which is a bit of a stretch for a rudimentary black belt like me. I’ve improved my piss-poor guitar playing up to the point that it’s just poor. I’ve written a book that needs an editor, or for me to get enough time to edit it myself. I’m working forward all the time, through a glass, darkly.

I can’t believe it’s been five months since I was riding through Georgia. The ravines were beautiful, and I light-heartedly thought of writing a flowery essay, “The gorgeous gorges of Georgia” (and I may still, one day). I know you thought me an eccentric bicycle tourist who didn’t want to talk about the war. You were right about all of that, or course. You’re a smart man, Rick.

The truth is that I was shutting my mouth at that part of the ride because I was nearing Ft. Stewart, Georgia, and I thought there might be agents of some description who might be on the lookout for me under some Patriot Act bullshit, or maybe even gunning for me. I had developed a bit of a paranoia about being run down by a wayward car. Could really happen by accident or could happen and look like an accident, right? I’ll tell you, serving in military intelligence doesn’t help your feeling of security much; you know too well how government plays its games. Lives are poker chips, and the game is more important than a few chips.

I figured I was identified from April 3^rd, when I published the grim prognosis of the Iraq war in the Chronicle. On April 8 I was conducting a one-man protest at my alma mater, talking down tyranny and the destruction of the Constitution like the April Fool I had nicknamed myself. Soon after that I stood down a bullying military intelligence colonel in a public forum of a couple of hundred at the University of Houston, alleging a cover-up of the fate of the 3/7 Cavalry at the Baghdad Airport, April 5. On April 13 I wrote and distributed an essay to local and national media; it alleged Constitutional subversion and assassination against the president of the United States. Yep, by early May, when we met, I was in an interesting state of mind, riding the long miles slowly across Dixie. You were one of the angels of my scouting mission. Angel, by the by, comes from Greek and means messenger. Maybe we were both angels. I sure had something to tell you. I’ll attach a few excerpts from where my operations stand. Here’s what I think your message to me was: Use the internet to do a blog, or some such thing. You know how I can set one up on the cheap, and are they hard to run? I’m a technocromagnon, and take a cave man’s pride in the accomplishment. [Editor winks]

Your friend, Captain May

PS: Friendship or no, you’re now officially under orders as a scout for Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry. Think of creative ways to forward the cause of the Constitution. Become active, seek contacts, use the net. Get it? Become a participant in a bloodless, legal revolution, just like the one the founders mandated in the Declaration when oppressive government threatened the rights of man. I salute you, scout. Drop me a line or an email sometime.

Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 3