Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2
I am a former student of yours, having taken your macroeconomics course back in 1980, after finishing an enlistment with the US Army. You did me a kindness by teaching me numerous things. One was that there was no difference between the kinds of aspirin, and that everyone should keep an empty Bayer bottle, but refill it with generic. That ounce of insight must have saved me hundreds of dollars over the years. Another was that I didn’t have the makings of an economist: I thoroughly deserved my C in your class, though I enjoyed the lectures. Showing a man what he isn’t good at is as valuable a lesson as teaching him to be good at something, so I thank you. I profited by turning my efforts towards Latin & Greek with Dr. Pozzi, then Russian with the Army Intelligence community, into which I was commissioned out of ROTC in 1983.
I have published a bit since leaving my last military
assignment as a divisional public affairs officer (1996), and have recently
written extensively about the situation in
Please consider me a sort of Socrates: I am looking for a man smart enough to tell me how I have arrived at the foolish conclusions that are contained in the attached op-eds, some published by the Houston Chronicle, most still unpublishable. I make fair offer, on my honor as an officer and gentleman, of $1000 reward to any faculty, adjunct faculty, graduate student or undergraduate who can debunk my surmises. It is with especial pleasure that I make that offer to you, because I know your wit and rectitude, and believe that you will indulge me by reading a page or two. I do not ask that you read objectively. In the spirit of ordeal I ask that you be inimical, and call me with any observations, suggestions or refutations. I ask that you convey my challenge to the rest of your college.
Captain Eric May
UH Honors Class of 1985
PS: In a few pages you’ll know why my peers in public affairs contrived the Private Jessica ruse.