Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2
ERIC:
As your unpaid media advisor, I’d say you have a self-fulfilling complaint: By attacking the Minshews and Langworthys for not printing your stuff, you’re guaranteeing that they’ll never print your stuff. David hasn’t always run everything I’ve sent him over time, and I’m a graduate of the Chronk. You may have soured them on you forever, but it’s not too late to cool it, while still sending them things they want to read.
Thanks for the call this afternoon.
CHASE.
Gentle Reader, do you see why I love Chase? He is concerned for me, his friend, and doesn’t mention the embarrassment my individualism might cause him. He truly esteems the talent of your merely efficient captain. The first time I talked with him I came up with an idea that ran in the Wall Street Journal within a month. After I got the boot from a job in corporate PR, he hooked me up with NBC, Compaq, the works. I lived off his patronage for a year or two. He is the truest, kindest and sagest person I know. He’s always straight to the point. He’s seen me through into thick and out of thin. But for all his qualities, bless his heart, he doesn’t have a clue, so I’m about to mess with his world view. I’m hoping for the best from a collaborative effort – I make my alliances on the fly, because to sit still is to lose momentum.
I don’t know about all that lion and lamb embedding the gospels talk about, because it seems like a better deal for the lion than the lamb, but I’ll see if I can’t make this a lion and a fox tandem with my somewhat limited but altogether admirable friend, who is far away the better man of the two of us. If you ever want to know the best things about me, ask Chase Untermeyer. If you want the worst, ask my second wife.
Captain May
Well said, Herr Untermeyer, well said. But (you knew the word would come shortly) I don't care for the regard of all the Minshews, unLangworthies and Michels of the world. The fact of the matter is that they're abetting the violation of the Constitution by refusing to report matters of the most immediate and dire national consequence: The commander in chief is a fraud, a frail con-man like The Great Oz. If I'm wrong, call your guy, George W., and tell him that the man at whose wedding you were best man really takes his duty as an officer seriously, so seriously that he wore his dress blues to his wedding. Further, tell him that until he gives explanation for his actions to my satisfaction, I will be in a state of rebellion against his tyranny.
Chase, why am I repeating all this? I already wrote it in my Philippic to the Bushling. If I'm wrong I'll cease, desist and check
into the nearest mental hospital that will still let me practice my long
staff. If I'm right, then kindly get in
the fight. I gave you that book of
My best regards, as always, and my compliments to the ladies Untermeyer.
E. May