Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2

August 28, 0830, email from Lieutenant Chase Untermeyer (USN), Chaplain, Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry

ERIC:

I greatly appreciate the tribute if not the assignment. My DOR as Lt, USNR is sometime in 1971, so I undoubtedly have seniority over you. Notwithstanding this, I volunteer to be your chaplain in lieu of XO!

CHASE.

August 28, 0915, email to Lieutenant Chase Untermeyer (USN), Chaplain, Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry

Damn it, chaplain, I knew you'd be a difficult ally, but you’re worth the effort. Trying to crowd me out of command, eh! The part that makes me mad is that I hadn’t thought of the date-of-commissioning angle. Oh well, you be the chaplain until you're ready to take the reins of leadership, which I will gladly relinquish to you when you are ready to lead.

Do not take the position you volunteered for lightly. As chaplain of the Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry, you have the most honorable position in Christianity. You will serve the God of Truth [Editor’s Emphasis], adored by the Founders, by doing for the Lord what you would have done for me, were you my executive officer: “Your first duty is to get to the bottom of things so that you can either convince me to stop or convince yourself to start!” I already gave you that directive on my own account, and now, apropos of your position, I’m repeating it for God’s sake. [Well done, Captain, from the Editor, with apologies for taking this liberty. Hooray!]

Well, you’ve told me that you ain’t working for me, and that’s fair enough, but you’ve set yourself up to a far, far higher standard. You have to realize that the Lord moves in mysterious ways:

1. You write as wryly as ever, but you make the fool’s error of volunteering.

2. You think yourself clever to dodge my service, but trick yourself into a higher one.

3. You make a joke of serving as a chaplain – an imposture – but you are the perfect counterpart to Colonel Dennington, the dark chaplain (probably an imposter) out of Special Forces, who was brainwashing folks at Ft. Stewart.

Yep, the book of Roosevelt worked, just like I knew it would. It brought out the hero in you, otherwise you couldn’t have made so many mental errors. You’ve tripped yourself into greatness, my friend, and I admire you for it. You’ll be another TR, and I’ll be the unsavory renegade sidekick. By the way, didn’t TR use Gatlin guns in the advance up San Juan Hill? I believe that someone supported his advance with them if he didn’t have them as organic assets. It was innovative, and that’s always the secret, ain’t it? Shit man, everyone I’ve read from Sun Tzu to Bobby Lee taught me that!

And about the Roosevelt book… I found it in Galveston for thirty bucks, but I’ll bet that in a year that book could sell for thirty thousand, but you won’t take it. It will be one of the treasures of your library.

My compliments, sir,

E. May, Commander, Ghost Troop, 3/7 Cavalry

PS: A brief on operations: The Hannity & Colmes transcript for August 26 (with Mrs. Robison) is missing from their web site, their cowards’ alternative to surrendering to my demand that they apologize. It was anticipated, and will be dealt with ruthlessly. I have conducted a massive infobombing of media targets from coast to coast, up and down the chain of compromise. I will shortly overrun Hannity & Colmes (you’ll know it when they apologize), turn the Infowar flank, and restore the Constitution. After all that is over, can we get back to having lunch, watching your retainers pay court to you, and letting me demonstrate exotic Oriental weapons for you?

PPS: Ain’t this more fun than working for the White House?

Ghost Troop Home Page April Fools Part 2